Official penalty rulesPrintable
Penalty Cards
Give them to the woman in your life. She already knew how to use them. Now it’s official.
Download the cards (PDF)
One US Letter sheet: fronts on page one, backs on page two. Print double-sided, cut along the dotted lines, and keep them somewhere he’ll see them.
Yellow card
Word violation
You said it. You know which one.
Penalty: A long look.
Yellow card
Mansplaining
She didn’t ask. She already knew.
Penalty: Ten minutes of listening.
Yellow card
Illegal tone
It wasn’t what you said. It was how you said it.
Penalty: Start the sentence over.
Red card
Ejection
Repeat offender. The couch is expecting you.
Penalty: Bring your own pillow.
Yellow card
Aggravating circumstance
It was a compliment until you added one word.
Penalty: Add the nights. You know the word.
Red card
Appeal denied
You appealed. The court has never ruled for the appellant.
Penalty: Original sentence, plus one night for asking.
Yellow card · Write your own
Penalty:
Red card · Write your own
Penalty:
Official penalty rules
- A yellow card is a warning. You know what you did.
- Two yellow cards equal a red card.
- A red card means ejection. The couch is down the hall.
- Cards may be issued at dinner, in the car, or by text. A photo of the card counts.
- Appeals go to the Vocabulary Appeals Court. It has never ruled for the appellant.
- Good behavior can earn a card back. The book has a list of words she loves hearing.